


Oh What a Surprise

by h0melessmandragon



Category: Homestuck
Genre: Flush Crush, Flushed Romance | Matesprits, Homestuck - Freeform, Karkat Vantas - Freeform, M/M, NSFW, New Alternia, Tentabulges, Xenomorph (Alien) - Freeform, dave strider - Freeform, gamkar - Freeform, gamkat - Freeform, gamzee makara - Freeform
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-09-23
Updated: 2017-05-17
Packaged: 2018-04-23 00:46:22
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 2,745
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4856768
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/h0melessmandragon/pseuds/h0melessmandragon
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Maybe listening to Strider wasn't the best decisions that was made today, but it certainly wasn't the worst. Going to that strange place and degrading yourself to that level was probably the worst. At least the outcome of it wasn't so bad.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> AUTHOR'S NOTE  
> I might add to this idk, but tell me what you think then.  
> Also there is typos. I typed this up on my phone vnv

"No dude, Karkles you have to try it out. Used to be all the damn rage on Earth in the red light district." Dave reclined on the chair, taking a drag from a cigarette.

Karkat squinted at him with a glare. "How the hell would you know? You were like, six sweeps old? Which was like, thirteen in Earth years. Like wasn't there fucking age restrictions on your shitty planet?"

The blonde chuckled. "Yeah man, but the internet was fucking bitchin."

The mutant troll rolled his eyes, ready to bash his damn skull in if he had to listen to more of this bullshit. The idea seemed disgusting and degrading to low bloods.

Dave sat up right and blew smoke out slowly. "Look all I'm saying is give it a try, ok? The place is dark so you won't see the color of the bulge or whatever your alien dick is called. There's a reason why the person you're giving the blow job to is behind a wall. It's supposed to be anonymous."

The Cancer groaned under his breath, rubbing at his face with a sigh. It had been awhile since he had any kind of sexual acts, and this really wasn't a horrible idea so much as coming back to his hive and finding the color material on his lips. "What are these things called again?"

The human smirked at the question. "Glory holes. Name is kind of ironic but dude its fantastic, trust me. Just go. You won't regret it."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

So now here he stood in front of this gaudy building with its stupid bright lights. Guh this was going to end badly. He cautiously walked inside, being greeted by some rust blood female. He fumbled with getting his money out, placing it on the counter. Karkat couldn't stop shaking as he walked down the dimly lit hallways to the room he was given. It was small but still spacious enough for him to move around in. He sat there waiting till a light flicked on alerting him that there was another in the room beside him. His pusher pounded louder and faster as the anticipation grew. Grunts slowly filled the air, he was probably getting himself worked up to get ready.

It only took a few minutes before the red light switched to green and he could see a bulge slither it's way through the hole. He was thankful it was a troll at least. Karkat got down on his knees and licked at the appendage, shuttering at the feel of ridges against his tongue.

So it was a Highblood. Great. Fan-fucking-tastic.

He couldn't believe he was doing this right now. On his knees, hands on his pants and a bulge in his mouth. Any other time he'd be ashamed, but the idea of not really knowing who was behind the wall made it less awkward. He breathed out through his nose as he relaxed his throat, whoever this was their damn bulge was thick and long. God just thinking about it was making his bulge squirm more. 

He had to take a few breaks to relax his jaw. "O-one sec." He mumbled a bit. Karkat pulled himself out of his pants and continued to suck the bulge.

He groaned out again, bucking into his hand as he sucked the bulge more and more. Karkat whimpered out as he slightly bit down on the bulge as he spilled out on the floor. There was a low grunt from the other side before Karkat felt material running down his throat. Maybe he should have taken the bulge out of his mouth. He pulled back and coughed out, leaning back to catch his breath. Guh he felt disgusting. He was covered in his own material and this strangers. Karkat pulled his pants up and slowly stood up, stumbling a bit. What the was he supposed to do now?

He heard the door to the other room close and he waited a bit. Ok just a few minutes and he could leave. He took a few deep breaths and left. Karkat left the building so fast he just wanted to go home.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

He sat in the ablution trap, soaking in the water. He kept the lights off. He didn't want to see the color of the material that was from the bulge. It would just rank at his think pan. Karkat unplugged the trap and stepped out, wrapping a towel around himself as he walked into his room. He heard his palmhusk go off and groaned, great who the fuck could this be? He grabbed it and sighed, thank fuck it wasn't Strider. A picture message from Gamzee.

He dropped his palmhusk the moment he saw the message, a flush covering his cheeks immediately. 

TC: ThAnKs fOr tHe mOtHeRfUcKiN BiTe mArK KaRbRo  
TC: hOw aBoUt nExT TiMe wE FuCkIn dO ThIs fAcE To fAcE ;o)

It took a few seconds for Karkat to process what he just saw and read. Holy shit. Fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck. The bulge that he, oh fuck no. Fuck shit fuck! Damn it! He flinched a bit when the palmhusk went off again and he carefully looked at it.

TC: YoUrE MoUtH ReAlLy fUcKiN FeLt gOoD  
TC: MaYbE YoU CoUlD Do sOmE MoRe mOtHeRfUcKiN PrAcTiCe aNd tHeN Ya cAn fIt tHe wHoLe fUcKiN ThInG In tHaT SwEeT LiTtLe mOuTh oF YoUrS  
TC: HeHe hOnK ;o)

Karkat wanted to die right fucking now. At this very fucking moment. How the fuck... why. Fuck fuck fuck. He decided to reply despite his embarrassment.

CG: DO NOT SAY ANYTHING TO ANYONE  
CG: I REALLY MEAN IT GAMZEE  
CG: JUST...  
CG: JUST COME OVER AND WE CAN TALK THIS OUT  
TC: Oh fUcKiN ShIt bRo hEh wElL ThEn mY FiNe aSs mOtHeRfUcKeR I'Ll sEe yA ReAl fUcKiN SoOn  
TC: ;o)

Great. Wonderful. Fantastic.  
Karkat hurried to get dressed, this was already awkward. He didn't want to make it more awkward.

Why does the universe hate him.

 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


	2. Fuck Logic

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> He sat there catching his breath for a good minute before he looked up at the clown and grinded against his fingers. He leaned in to whisper against Gamzee's lips.
> 
> "Make me scream."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well y'all asked for it, and you've got it, but this isn't the end, this will be 3 maybe 5 chapters long. Enjoy ;]

Karkat sat curled up in a snuggleplane on his couch as he waited for the highblood to show up. Why did it have to be the clown? Why? He was already struggling with his feelings towards that over grown dipshit, this made it worse. He buried his face in his hands and let out a low groan, why was this happening to him? Everything about that incident just kept playing on repeat in his pan, over and over again. The moans. The grunts. The gasps. So loud. He groaned out loudly, going deeper into his cocoon of blankets and then it happened. A knock on his door. He actually sat there for a good five minutes debating whether or not to open the door and forget this ever happened. By the third knock he emerged from his hiding place and headed for the door, his hand hesitating on the knob before he opened it.

Looking back at him was a grinning clown, smirking from ear to ear.

"Hey there motherfucker, ya look done up exhausted. Have ya been all over thinking and spazzing out again?" He smiled more as he stepped inside, not waiting for an invitation.

Any other time Karkat would have yelled and scolded Gamzee but this really wasn't the time to do it, he had other things that were more important on his think pan. He closed the door and turned to face the other who was busy making himself at home on Karkat's couch, kicking his feet up on the table in the middle. Fucking no manners. 

"Okay well, there really isn't anyway to go about bringing this up so whatever." He closed his eyes and took a deep breath. "How'd you even know it was me and why were you there in the first place?" Karkat kept his eyes shut as he spoke.

The clown chuckled a bit, smiling once more. "Motherfucker I'd recognize those damn bite marks anywhere. All tiny and pointy, shits like a dead giveaway." He patted the couch and smirked. "Plant that fine ass of yours right on next to me and we can get to talkin about even more fun stuff."

He cautiously opened his eyes and dragged his feet over to the couch, sitting as far from the other as possible. The clown chuckled loudly, snickering even. Karkat glared. "What the hell is your ass laughing about? Did I say a joke?"

"Naw bro it ain't that. You all up and actin all nervous and shit it's damn motherfuckin cute. Considerin you had my bulge up in that lil mouth of yours only a fuckin few hours ago." His thumb trailed Karkat's bottom lip, parting them slightly. "Aren't you even a bit fuckin curious as to what that bulge feels like in that tight as shit nook of yours?"

He practically whispered that last statement right near Karkat's ear and that sent a shiver down his spine. He'd never admit this to anyone, not even Gamzee himself, but the countless times he pleasured himself with those sex toys all he could think of was the clown. No wonder he would purchase the thickest ones and practice with them, like he was subconsciously preparing himself to be fucked by the clown. Gamzee must've notice him spacing out because he literally pulled Karkat to straddle him. 

"G-Gamzee! What the hell!?" He was so lost in thought he didn't expect this.

"Motherfucker that lil pan of yours is swirling around some wicked fuckin thoughts, keepin ya all distracted from me, you gonna tell me what's up or you wanna show a motherfucker?" His grin practically grew as he held on to Karkat's hips. 

Karkat could literally fell the others bulge slithering in his sweat pants, and that only made him shiver more. It seemed longer now that there wasn't a wall separating them. He kept his gaze down, trying not to look at the clown's crotch.

"Okay laugh or whatever, but I've never actually really pailed with someone before. Let alone given a blow job, so excuse me for being so hesitant about- G-GAMZEE!?!"

Without warning the clown shoved one of Karkat's hands into his boxers so he could feel his bulge. "Karbro you ain't always gotta think things through." The tendril curled around Karkat's wrist, holding him there. "Just go with what feels right. And bro I promise to make ya feel so damn good that you'll beg for more and more. You'll practically fuckin crave it."

He barely could focus on what the other was saying, his pan too occupied on the bulge that was claiming his hand. He jerked away when he felt his beginning to unsheath, reaching for a pillow to hide. The clown laughed, pulling Karkat closer till their chests were touching and their mouths mere inches away. 

"I bet you're just fuckin drippin wet for me. That nook is practically just all up and beggin for my bulge." His mouth ghosted over Karkat's lips as he leaned closer. "I can feel it all up against my thigh, soakin through them boxers of yours."

He didn't know when it happened, but before he could process it, two of Gamzee's fingers found their way into Karkat's nook and were working their magic. The Cancer couldn't help but roll his hips worth the motion. If he wasn't careful, he'd get engulfed by his feelings and beg this clown for anything... not like that's a bad thing anymore. They were here, clearly wanting one another, why'd he always have to make things difficult? Why couldn't he just let go and allow things to happen? His eyes closed for a few minutes before they reopened. Fuck logic. Fuck reasoning. Fuck quadrants. The clown clearly wanted this as much as he wanted that bulge. Karkat made the first move and crushed their lips together, tugging at the clown's matted hair. The kiss lasted a good minute or two, tongues in each other's mouths before Karkat pulled away to breathe, panting hard. 

He sat there catching his breath for a good minute before he looked up at the clown and grinded against his fingers. He leaned in to whisper against Gamzee's lips.

"Make me scream."


	3. Chapter Three

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "You look so motherfuckin delicious Karbro." He whispered in his ear.
> 
> The only response he could muster was a small moan, fucking hell this was embarrassing for him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope this is good idk what I just typed hnnngh

Gamzee couldn't help the chuckle that left him when he heard the words leave the Cancer's lips as he kissed him again, his hand moving out of Karkat's pants. He broke the kiss and heard a low growl leave the other. "Shh don't get all mad, just making things more comfortable my sweet little motherfucker." He trailed a finger along Karkat's neck. "Let's get these fucking clothes off, what do ya say Karbro?"

Karkat watched him, his blood pusher pounding a bit more than he expected, but he couldn't help it. This was actually happening, he was actually doing this with Gamzee. He would've protested or complained any other time when Gamzee grabbed at his shirt before he himself sat up and pulled it off. "Don't say anything okay? Just shut up."

Gamzee tilted his chin up, licking his lips before he kissed him once more. "Ain't nothing wrong about your motherfuckin body my brother. You look fine, better than fine."

Karkat rolled his eyes and looked away. "Just shut up okay?"

The clown laughed as he pulled off his shirt and immediately went back to kissing Karkat drowning out anything he was planning to say. Karkat wrapped his arms around Gamzee's neck and pulled him in when they kissed. He was trying his best to ignore the screaming in his pan how this was his moirail and this was going to ruin everything for them. He didn't care. He didn't want to care. He'd deal with it when this was over, maybe I'm a world where his fantasies came true Gamzee would be his matespirte. Ha. Yeah right. 

Karkat flinched a bit when he felt Gamzee's hands starting to pull off his pants. "O-okay wait wait wait."

Gamzee kissed him more. "Shhh Karbro, let it just motherfuckin happenin' it's all good brother, I'll make you feel real fuckin good."

"Gamzee but-"

He kissed him again. "Stop thinkin about it motherfucker, let them wicked thoughts just roll on with. I'll be real gentle."

Karkat grumbled a bit, but said nothing. He knew the clown wasn't going to be rough, unless he wanted him to. Gamzee, despite Karkat wanting to strangle him constantly, he always respected him and his boundaries. He knew he was in good hands... maybe he shouldn't trust him too much. Karkat curled up a bit when he was now completely naked in front of Gamzee. He was so self conscious about himself it was annoying. Why was he such a mood killer. Fucking hell.

"Hey now Karbro it all good, don't go hiding up on me motherfucker. These legs would be fuckin better wrapped around my damn waist." He chuckled as he opened his knees to capture his lips once more in a kiss. Gamzee pulled back and pulled his pants off a bit more.

Karkat looked away. 'Seriously? You had that in your mouth only hours ago and you're going to get all shy and hide? You're an idiot Karkat.'

The clown laughed again. "You're so motherfuckin all kinds of cute Karbro."

"S-shut the fuck up Makara."

He laughed again before he gently laid Karkat on his back and his fingers once again found their way to the Cancer's nook, getting him worked up once again. Karkat couldn't help he gasped moan that tumbled out when he felt Gamzee's fingers in him, his hips moved a bit with his movements. Karkat was getting lost in how good it felt, having someone else touch him there felt better than his owns hands. His hips rolled and small mewls left from his lips. Gamzee couldn't help the confident smirk that spread across his face at the reactions he was getting from his pale bro.

"You look so motherfuckin delicious Karbro." He whispered in his ear.

The only response he could muster was a small moan, fucking hell this was embarrassing for him.

"Ain't nothing to worry about my fine lil fucker, I'm gonna make ya feel real good in a few." He kissed at his jaw.

Gamzee's fingers left and he positioned himself. "Ya ready?"

Karkat wanted this, fucking did he want this, but he was still so nervous and worried. He needed him, no matter what it would do to their moirailagence, he needed him and he needed him now. "I'm ready."


End file.
